PenMouse

Sighs…. hayyy…. sighs… Isn’t it frustrating when you’re trying to accomplish something for the benefit of the persons around you or even yourself did not materialize? After gathering all the guts and will power to drop the bomb… you’ll get a next time reply.

Sometimes I would just like to think that there is a right time and right place for everything. Every saturday in our office Managers, supervisors and team heads are being lectured about the value of leadership, definite aim in life, focus… focus… etc., etc. Sure it did light the fire in me, to have a definite aim in life, to always plan ahead. A year ago i made a list of what i want to accomplish in 1 year time, specific goals i want to achieve. Mind you I listed a whopping 20 goals to achieve in one year WHEW!… I’m not a worrier person, I live day to day. But i was beginning to worry to a lot of things the moment I have my kids. With a career i love but not well paid. I stop doing the “What do i want to achieve at the end of the year” thing because all I got is depression and started questioning my ability to accept the abominable. I was always in denial to all the things that is bound to happen right before my eyes. Out of the 20 things that I wanted to achieve in 1 year i achieved only 1/4 of the 20 items… Meaning 5 things! And it was some kinda frustrating. Why? Because the 5 things are obviously achievable to the true sense of the word 1. to get up early and start the day right, 2. Cut down on cholesterol, sugar and MSG intakes, 3. Plan ahead 4. Love your work more 5. Go to church regularly. During my reflection I asked why? There are things in which i gave excuses due to present economic crisis, I mean c’mon it’s worldwide! Only then that I realized that outside entities are blocking my way to achieving my goal. That there are certain things that’s out of my control… they are roadblocks to success. It is that I didn’t do anything about it but it’s a reality. I am an underachiever I must admit… to the true sense of the word. In total exasperation all i can do is sigh. Reflect. Think. Accept.

Accept that many are called but few are chosen. Chosen to be at the top of the world. To be at the right place at the right time. After all the hardships and dedication, after all the who-am-I-gonna-chose between my job or my love ones. All I have is unpaid bills, and lots of worries. The rat race of life has been inevitable, chose to stay inside the race or work your way out. Inside the race opportunities awaits for the early birds. These birds are the so called COO’s of companies… meaning Child Of Owners. Damn I’m good!!! Yeah that’s it! It’s easier to talk inspirational words of wisdom to a crowd or comrade. You reminisce the old striving you in the past and gather all the failures and how you succeeded. It is easier for somebody or someone talking about the past how they manage to fight life’s adversity and be where they are now. Simply because they are inspired and they are overwhelmed of their achievements. And then associate this experiences and do the formula on how to be successful blah…blah…blah. But I envy them. I look up on them. They continue to inspire me. Don’t get me wrong the truth is I wanna be somebody someday. And do the math (yaikkksss, i hate math) err, do the formula and make my children the future COO’s. But, its true that the RICH GETS RICHER and the POOR GETS POORER. I wanna do my way up than down. I don’t wanna throw tantrums and blame someone or the government for not doing the right thing for their countrymen (in the first place they don’t wanna do it). As Dicky fox told at the end of the “Jerry Maguire” movie: “I failed as much as I succeeded, but I love my life, I love my wife (husband) I wish you my kind of life”. Meaning these are just part of the many failures in my life and that success is attainable. How I wish…